She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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