There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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