What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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