she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
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This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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