As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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