He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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