Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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