My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize