sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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