You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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