You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize