Jerry, you need to find god
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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