Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
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The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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