Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize