Michael Bay diarrhea
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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