On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
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My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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