Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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