she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
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Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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