he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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