last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
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Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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