I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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