Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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