My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize