I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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