Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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