Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize