By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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