He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
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Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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