he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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