in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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