i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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