I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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