im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize