I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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