I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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