I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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