My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
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Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
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A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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