well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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