So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
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if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
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I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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