i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize