i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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