do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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