life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize