Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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