You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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