So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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