it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize