There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize