hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize