You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Pooping to opera.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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